Okay, so when you buy a house, there are those misc items that are always disclosed. Mostly it's stuff like 'this isn't perfect code' or 'this is really old and should be replaced'. The person selling the house has a duty to disclose all things they know about and the person buying the house has to live with the knowledge that no seller in their right mind will be completely honest.
We bought the house in 99 I think, so it's been almost 7 years (can you tell from the principal remaining on the house 2 refi's later? heck no, but that's a different rant). We still have two of the disclosed crappy items still to be fixed, which means either a) they were more expensive than we originally realized, or b) i'm a lazy, crappy handyman... okay, c) both is actually true, but if you guessed a) or b) you can give yourself a point.
The most noticable thing in the house that we never fixed is our rear sliding glass door downstairs has a broken thermal seal...what that means in english is that the double-paned glass is all fogged up with dirt and dust and you can't see through it very well...it's insulated still for the most part, but it looks bad. If any of you have ever installed a glass sliding door on a house, please give me a call...the prospect of getting one door out and the other not all the way in while my air/heat leaks out to the elements for a few days...all while spending $600 to $1k, well it just motivates me like hell, so that's why i'm getting right on that anyday now... like I was going to do first-thing back in 99.
The 2nd item is a smaller, minor item...the external water faucet out back doesn't work. We were told originally it leaks somewhere inside the house if it's on and to replace would involved going through the siding and the walls, a plumber for a bit of time, two search and rescue hounds and 200' of good climbing rope...or something like that. So that has also never been fixed. I cart my entire 100' of hose all the way around the house when I need water out back...that also resulted in a few dead hoses the first year as I learned that most aren't made very well to be stretched and pulled around corners that much. Watering out back is to put it bluntly, a royal pain in the ass. Guess what? Our yard out back has never really grown well either. Cause. Effect. Wife likes gardening too, so when yard out back not grow well, husband hear about stupid broken faucet every year or so. As the mice said about the cat-- something must be done.
I looked at it a bit a few years back...but to find where it enters the house it looked to me like you either have to take off the siding, or start looking around in your walls to trace all the plumbing to find the leak. Not a good thing when you know there has to be 30 feet of pipe running around in there. And yes I confirmed once that when the water is on (had to test it once, you know...the wet paint theory) , water leaks all over the place..like someone dumped a 30 gallon cooler of water back there, right under the wall. The carpet behind the bar and in the bedroom next to it were soaked. Not so good... mmmm, love that musty carpet smell. Lots of drying later, I decided we don't need to test the faucet again, I'm convinced. It can wait for a plumber Someday When We Have Money (estimated SWWHM date is 2010 for now). The whole thing screams 'fuhgettaboutit' to me... Except that I don't like losing. And Mike 2006 is way way more handy than Mike 2002. I can do electricity now. I can fix minor plumbing. I built part of a room. Did I mention I love the part in Cast Away where Tom Hanks is jumping around beating his chest and yelling at Wilson, 'Aha. Look what I've created. I ... have made FIRE!' Anyway, that's how tool-time-tim-taylor Mike feels whenever he gets a new task done around the house. So I still never let go that someday it would be nice to fix The Faucet.
So now that's it's been years I finally get around to talking to people who know How To Do Things about my crummy faucet, and lo and behold, I have friends who have good ideas... and doh, suddenly someone explains it to me and it's not that hard to fix. DAMNIT. Why didn't I research it more long ago? Okay, maybe Friends 2002 also weren't good at fixing things... the cumulative Borg hivemind of fixitness has grown in the last few years it seems. Matt was the one who finally explained it to me. The only way that faucet could leak only when it's on...and not when it's off (which you have to admit is Very Strange and I did always wonder just wtf was going on there) is because those external faucets are like 12-15" long and the valve is at the other end from the knob. Ohhhhhhhhhh. Now you tell me. Damn, that makes sense. So the valve leaks when it's open, but you can shut it off. Duh. Wilson, me not make fire very fast. Me should be fired. This new insight was no help at first however, because even if I can find where that valve is, it's behind drywall and an entire permanently-mounted cabinet that is on the wall behind the bar... read, no room to work, and a real pain to get to. So then Matt (and Adam) come in with revelation #2... you know, that pipe goes into the wall perpendicular and continues. So it has to be running within the wall between the two rooms, and your bedroom on the other side...just has plain drywall there. Instant access, and now you know where the leak is don't you? Eureka!
Long story short... (and why would someone do that on a blog anyway? Long story is the point!), I'm sweaty and tired now, it's 10:30 at night and I'm still working on it, because the little bugger had complications and I'm now in the 'water to house is shut off til you fix this' panic period. So back to work. More on this later. I will not be defeated! Die you little project!
Hour later. I win! Just remember these words of advice - if you're fixing anything and you have the thought, 'I'm going to need to use a hacksaw' then the fun task just became a freaking annoying task. Particularly if some or all of these extra factors are true: There's no room to use the saw. You have to use your 'off' hand for some of the sawing. It's hot and poorly ventilated where you are working. The item being sawed is steel. You cut through said steel item and find an inner piece that is a higher grade of steel, or even iron. Don't get me started on iron.
The kicker of all this is that of course the old faucet (it's called a sillcock valve btw, so make your own joke there) of course froze and blew up one year is why I have this problem. Some nimrod apparently left his hose connected during freezing temperatures...good one Clyde. When that happens yes, the valve expands and blows out inside the wall...and if you're lucky, that's after it's been run through a perfectly-sized hole in the studs, so you'll need the aforementioned hacksaw to get it out of there once you unscrew it. Brillant! (sic) Elapsed time to get to and remove evidence of old homeowner's stupidity: 2-3 hours. Elapsed time to install new hardware: 15 minutes (and $25). I have made fire!!!
Mr. Fixit tip of the week I owe to my neighbor Ed, who had to do this very thing once (found this out after I had got my solution from Matt). Don't patch drywall, install a vent over it for an access panel. Easy access if it happens again, and extra venting means the pipe stays warmer as well -- so less likely to freeze.
Notable 80's tunes listened to while fixing this:
mary's prayer - Danny Wilson
don't stop believin' - Journey
pop goes the world - Men Without Hats
always on my mind - Pet Shop Boys
Hockey Note of the Day: Good job in the draft so far Blues! Now go trade to get Pronger back. He should be here for the rest of his hall of fame career.
